What are the distinctive features of tough negotiations? Tough Negotiations: How to Win

Types of negotiators - find your beast

Do you really want to charge us like we’re smart, but pay us like we’re idiots?

An example of handling the “high cost” objection. From real life.

You won’t find any number of client typologies in business literature. And in some ways this is reminiscent of the shamanism of a primitive warrior - draw your victim on the wall of a cave, hit it with a spear, and then victory is guaranteed to you (that’s when the first trainings appeared!). Let's try to draw our potential enemy.

Any typology of people is quite arbitrary, and we more often encounter mixed types; moreover, each of the above types lives inside us and is activated in certain situations. Understanding what is happening to you and why you are making this or that decision is the goal of this chapter!

Let's take Jim Kennedy's classification as a basis, in which he associates the behavior of people in negotiations with images of animals - sheep, donkey, fox and owl (Kennedy G. You can agree on anything! How to achieve the maximum in any negotiations / Gavin Kennedy: translated from English. – M.: Alpina Business Books, 2007).

But we will improve this classification somewhat. Let's introduce a simple coordinate system, where along the vertical axis we will measure the activity of the negotiator, how much energy he brings to this meeting (provocations, actions, efforts), and along the horizontal axis we will determine what the negotiator relies on when making a particular decision - logic or emotions. Based on this coordinate system, we identify four main types of negotiators.

On the OX axis, the scale is how decisions are made, what a person relies on to make a decision, logic or emotions; on the OU axis, the degree of involvement in the negotiation process, the level of activity

1. Cowardly negotiator(sheep) A negotiator of this type is minimally involved in the negotiation process, his level of activity is very low, he rarely prepares for negotiations, rarely carries out any provocations in relation to his opponent, because he is his. Under any pressure, he immediately gives up his position. Often the opponent has only just thought about it, and the cowardly negotiator is already offering him a discount. Any head of a commercial service is familiar with this situation, when his managers take the client’s side and give or ask the management for crazy discounts for him, citing the words that our prices are high, and if we don’t provide a discount, the client will go to competitors. Managers somehow forget that the point of their work is not charity, but making money for their company.

What to do if you come across such a negotiator? Rejoice and gently press, gradually increasing this pressure with each concession on the part of the opponent. It is only important to remember that strong emotions and strong fear can “throw out” a cowardly negotiator from the process. Frightened, he will simply refuse to interact, even at the risk of not realizing his interests. Sellers of residential real estate know this well: the agent is a little more active, and that’s it... the client instantly disappears, as he begins to suspect his agent of being extremely interested and, accordingly, trying to push through a decision based on his interests.

For example, one of my clients, the director of a construction company, said that he loves to play short with weak negotiators - constantly worsen his offer during negotiations, waiting for the moment when the counterparty asks for mercy. This is how he managed to “beat” out of the contractor responsible for the construction of a large facility conditions that were more favorable than those the company was counting on. First, the parties outlined their positions and did not agree on the price. The contractor sent a second proposal, slightly moderating his requests. But in response, my client took it and lowered the price even lower. “They decided it was a mistake or a joke,” my client recalled, “but we played short another time.” The contractor realized that with each subsequent round it would be more and more difficult for him to save face, and agreed to an amount that was 10% less than what he did not accept in the first round of negotiations.

What should you do if you feel afraid of your opponent or his behavior? The most important thing is not to allow yourself to immediately make a decision during negotiations. If you are required to make a decision here and now, it is better to take a time-out for a certain period - from a minute to several days. At a minimum, you show that you take the topic of negotiations and your interlocutor seriously.

2. Aggressive negotiator (donkey, according to G. Kennedy, although Russian negotiators compare this type with another animal similar to a donkey, but with horns)

Oh, there is a lot of this negotiator in any negotiations, his distinctive feature is any lack of flexibility and a magical fixation on principles, patterns, concepts. He is sure that he lives in a dangerous environment, and everyone he meets is trying to deceive him.

The aggressive type easily falls into emotions, forgetting about the purpose for which he came to negotiate. He believes that aggressiveness is a sign of strength, not weakness, that with its help he can negotiate in 90 seconds with the best result, but he often achieves the opposite: “Either you reduce your price by 25%, or we will go to your competitors “, he states categorically, thereby independently rejecting dozens of options that could be beneficial to both parties. The chance to realize their interests is 50% to 50% - they will either agree or refuse, isn’t that stupid? He hears his interlocutor poorly, falls into emotions, is deaf to logical arguments, and is easily provoked into aggression. It is very difficult for a reasonable person to negotiate with him; all arguments are smashed against the wall of unwillingness to understand and think about the benefits of interaction. An aggressive negotiator perceives pressure and reasonable demands as a personal challenge, disrespect, and insult. And off we go...

According to a study by the Moscow School of Negotiations, devoted to the analysis of the behavior of modern Russian leaders in negotiations, an aggressive manner and irritation are included in 46% of negotiators. When it comes to positional trading, they suddenly realize that their opponent has a different view of their benefits and the terms of the trade.

Western negotiators are shocked by this reaction, because for them objections and disagreement are a normal process of interaction. One of the basic principles of the Western negotiation model says: “Even if you are 120% satisfied with the other side’s proposals, don’t dare agree right away, try to bargain, in this case both parties have the feeling that the agreement reached was born as a result of hard joint work, and its psychological value becomes significantly higher.” And it’s normal for them to negotiate, and not “push” their decision!

The parties part satisfied with each other, confident that each was able to secure the best conditions for themselves. The attentive reader will joyfully ask the question: “What models of negotiations exist in principle?”

Several models can be distinguished:

- American model or positional trading, sometimes it is also called Push strategy (Push) - this is the use of force, dominance. Such a negotiator (called in slang a Pusher, a pusher, not to be confused with a drug dealer) is active, prefers to speak out first, interrupt the interlocutor, and uses controlling strategies. They are undiplomatic, selfish in achieving their goals, and can suppress their opponents. Push is good, for example, in a decision-making situation when there is a lack of time. In this case, a push from a manager or expert is useful, and sometimes necessary for the result of the work.

– European model or Pull strategy (Pull) – partnership strategy. Poolers ask questions, listen carefully, and are ready to compromise. If they don’t like the interlocutor, they may not show it outwardly, but after negotiations they will refuse to meet a second time. Pooler will try to avoid conflict and hope for a mutual win. This strategy is good for equals or negotiators who have not met before, when it is unknown who is more experienced.

– Russian – there is a lot in it from the traditions of Russian merchants and the breadth of the Russian soul. Or “stick our heads” and not agree to any offers just because we didn’t like the way they looked at us, or generously “give” millions, concluding clearly unprofitable deals just because, they say, let them know that we We don’t waste time on trifles.

– Eastern, the principles of which, albeit in a camouflaged form, can be found, for example, in Jim Kemp, Roger Fisher. Why in camouflage? Yes, because they are 100% contrary to the basic attitudes of Western man, and if they are postulated openly, the reader will think that the author has gone crazy and will never buy his book. The Eastern model is the model of a wise negotiator, it is the most environmentally friendly for the body and is based on the philosophy of the ZEN approach, where the main thing is detachment, that is, indifference to the final result of the meeting.

Takeno Shigeyoshi, one of the greatest swordsmen of modern Japan, in his treatise on the “Bamboo Sword”, speaks about the psychology of fencing:

“When the bamboo sword I choose suits me best in weight, shape, etc., then the unity of the sword and my body is most easily achieved. It goes without saying that to entertain the thought of fighting or winning, or to demonstrate one's skill, is the death of a swordsman. But when you get rid of these thoughts, as well as the thought of your body, then real unity can be achieved. Then your sword is you, and you are your sword, and there is no difference between you. This is called muga (or no-ego, no-mind) psychology. This seems to correspond to what Buddhism calls the state of emptiness.

When we negotiate, our sword is the word. The Eastern model teaches spontaneity as the key to victory.

But let's return to our classification of negotiators.

One of the signs of an aggressive negotiator is the use of profanity. For example, this factor is clearly monitored during negotiations with criminals. One of the “indicators” that determines the mental state of criminals is the degree of predominance of categorical expressions and words in their speech stream, as well as slang expressions and obscene words. They are the main verbal arsenal of “power” pressure. If more than half of the total number of words are words and expressions expressed in an imperative form, this indicates nervous excitement and aggressiveness. A noticeable increase in slang and obscene expressions, as a rule, also indicates an increase in mental activity, and their decrease indicates the entry into a period of calmer response to events, the inclusion of logical elements in judgments, assessments, and statements. Determining the mental state according to this indicator is quite simple and is usually easily understood in the case of oral interaction (including over the phone), as well as personal communication.

What should we do if we meet an aggressive type of negotiator? The most important thing is not to be scared. Fear is felt, it is visible to the naked eye, it emits a subtle smell, it kills the mind. It's just negotiations. Even if they end not in our favor, life will not stop there, business is a game. And business negotiations should be treated like a game. Interesting, exciting, sometimes dangerous, but... it's only a game that adults play. If you keep in mind that everything that happens is “make-believe,” then the fear goes away.

There are also various techniques that allow you to convey your position even to an aggressive interlocutor. For example, the use of comparison. By referring to a story that supposedly once happened and which describes a situation similar to yours, we indirectly convey the desired idea to our opponent, without giving him the opportunity to perceive our proposal as direct pressure. Again, the aggressive-stubborn type follows his principles. But if you understand them in time, you can “catch” the opposite side, putting your opponent in a situation in which refusing your proposal is a violation of the stated principle.

An aggressive negotiator sees no alternatives. Having stated his conditions, he cannot refuse them, even if he sees them as unprofitable. In this case, the only way to “help” him is to start all over again, creating the illusion of a new proposal.

Real negotiation situations

A training company was negotiating to conduct a series of sales training sessions in a large organization. At the beginning of the negotiations, the proposed program satisfied the commercial director. He appreciated the professionalism of the consultants, but even before the price was announced, he categorically stated that, no matter how wonderful the training was, he would never pay more than 1000 euros for a training day. In the commercial offer the price was exactly twice as high. The position trades carried out did not lead to anything. The commercial director said that he understood everything, but had already voiced his conditions and could not refuse them. For consultants, the price of 1000 euros was also unacceptable. What to do?

The consultants took a break and entered the next negotiations with a formally new proposal: a modified program, divided into lectures, training and practical sessions. The cost of the training session ultimately remained the same as indicated by the commercial director; for other types of training, the cost was set twice as high (although, from the point of view of the process, the division into types of training was quite arbitrary). The commercial director's reputation was preserved, and the consultants got theirs. Both sides were satisfied with the results of the negotiations.

3. A cunning negotiator or a fox

There is also a lot of him in the negotiation process, he is a real fox, masterfully mastering the techniques of transformation. Such a negotiator can be different; he changes masks during the negotiations. Either he whines pitifully, begging for a discount, or he becomes arrogant and dismissive. Such a negotiator uses the entire arsenal of manipulative techniques invented by mankind. He develops cunning multi-moves and can get away with it in any situation. He clearly knows what he wants, and with the confidence of a T-80 tank he moves towards his goal. He will crush a weak negotiator and deceive an aggressive one.

Negotiation workshop

Episode from "The Good Soldier Schweik"

“They also woke up a Jew in the tavern, who began to tear his sidelocks and regret that he could not serve the gentlemen soldiers, and in the end he pestered them, asking them to buy from him an old, hundred-year-old cow, a skinny dead meat: bones and skin.

He demanded crazy money for it, tore out his beard and swore that such a cow would not be found in all of Galicia, in all of Austria and Germany, in all of Europe and in the whole world. He howled, cried and swore that this was the fattest cow that, by the will of Jehovah, had ever been born. He swore by all the forefathers that people came from Volochisk itself to look at this cow, that there was a rumor all over the region that it was not a cow, but a fairy tale, that it was not even a cow, but the fattest buffalo.

In the end, he fell in front of them and, hugging the knees of one or the other, cried out: “Better kill the old unfortunate Jew, but don’t leave without a cow.” His howls led the clerk and the cook into complete confusion, and, in the end, they dragged this dead meat, which any flayer would abhor, to the field kitchen.

Long after this, when the money was already in his pocket, the Jew cried that he had been completely destroyed, destroyed, that he had robbed himself by selling such a magnificent cow so cheaply. He begged to be hanged because in his old age he had done such a stupid thing that would have caused his forefathers to roll over in their graves.

After lying around in the dust a little more, he suddenly shook off all the sorrow, went home to his closet and said to his wife: “Elsa, my life, the soldiers are stupid, but your Nathan is wise!”

In the minds of many people, a cunning negotiator is the ideal image of a negotiator to which one should strive. People read books, go to trainings to become just like that - cunning, calculating, tough. If necessary, knowledgeable and able to use various psychotechnologies to their advantage.

In any case, a cunning negotiator one day meets with an even more “pumped up” opponent, who is better prepared, has more trump cards in his hands, and is more skilled in manipulative techniques. And that's it, the game is lost.

It’s difficult to outplay a cunning negotiator, but it’s possible. If an aggressive negotiator is fixated on his principles, then a cunning negotiator is fixated on his goal, which he strives for with all his soul, and he depends on it, because he cannot fail to achieve it. That's what he thinks. And if we manage to understand what interests a cunning negotiator in the first place, what true interests are behind his provocations, then we can very easily resist his manipulations. Moreover, the very fact of using an excessively large number of psychological techniques indicates that a person is extremely interested in something, and this confirms his vulnerability.

Negotiation workshop

Excerpt from a letter from a participant in the SHIP School of Negotiators training.

...I attended Dmitry’s training “Tough Negotiations”, part 1, part 2.

Coincidentally, at that moment I had a difficult situation at work. An acquaintance with whom I collaborate did not fulfill his obligations, and my agreements with him were oral. I didn’t see a way out, but I was sure that there was one, there had to be one. Therefore, I absorbed the training to the last drop. Plus, I analyzed my situation in detail together with Dmitry. I realized that I had no real “leverage of power”, I thought about it, sat down and wrote out a negotiation strategy!

Exhausted my partners with inflated demands, unreasonable and justified claims! Then he gave in everywhere and completely agreed, which he initially agreed with, but as an “insignificant” additional demand he asked to sign the previously achieved verbal commitments, which is what he received... Real “leverage”! Now I can communicate with an acquaintance from a position of strength. Without the training and the skills acquired through it, I would have gotten confused in conversations, in accusations and insults, maybe freaked out or got into a fight, and would have complicated the situation by 1,200,000 rubles. One million two hundred thousand rubles!

I managed to use it again when I bought the car! The price was already attractive, I would have bought it for that price. And there were others who wanted to buy a car! Nevertheless, I came up with a script, and another 15,000 rubles. made a deal, which was greatly surprised by a specialist friend who inspected the car. Dmitry, thank you.

4. A wise negotiator is an owl

He who knows does not prove, he who proves does not know.

(Chinese wisdom)

In the minds of the average person, a top-class negotiator is a kind of idol with a stony expression on his face from which nothing can be read. And someone tries to imitate this image, which often looks quite funny. A wise negotiator is as natural as possible. He makes no effort to manage the negotiation process. He does not make decisions based on emotions. He sees no point in shouting at his interlocutor, applying pressure, or using various manipulations. This type has a good sense of humor, he is elegant in communication and rarely shows aggression, but there is a steel core in him that cannot be broken. Such people are like a tumbler doll, they have no rigidity, but it is impossible to lay them down on their shoulder blades. And at this level, negotiations are no longer a technology, but a philosophy of life. The philosophy that is closest to it is Zen. It is not the purpose of this book to introduce the reader to this worldview, but many of its ideas are drawn from there.

The inner belief that only you make decisions, and no one has any right to force you to do something that you don’t want or like, is the main resource of a negotiator.

And this is definitely not knowledge of cunning techniques, techniques and the content of many books, although no one has canceled the importance of such knowledge and without it it is almost impossible to become a professional negotiator. But in the end this is not the main thing.

The main thing is to be able to see the negotiation process from the outside, to observe yourself as if from above. It's like being a spectator watching a stage production where the actors can shout at each other, cry, beg, roll their eyes fiercely. You can sympathize with the actors on stage, empathize with them, or just have fun with them. Only this approach provides 100% peace and strength.

“Know how to adapt to the client - through breathing, posture, gestures, only in this case will you be able to establish rapport and thereby begin to control your interlocutor,” say the NLP gurus. And people who have taken their courses yawn stupidly after the person sitting opposite them, scratch their noses and move in mirrors in space. Sometimes, in relation to a cowardly type of negotiator, this works, but with a cowardly negotiator, any technique, any activity will work.

“Don’t go into someone else’s monastery with your own charter,” other business gurus say, “you must be able to speak the same language with the client, behave exactly like him, and then he will accept you as one of his own and, overwhelmed by trust, agree to all your conditions. If you negotiate with Arabs, become an Arab, with a Jew, become a Jew.” And so on.

But wait, I want to shout back, if we adapt to another, try to become the same as him, we will never be able to do it 100%. Simply because an Arab or a Jew knows the rules of “their” game better, they are 100% real Arabs or Jews. And that means we are losing at the start. Fakeness in a relationship is immediately visible, and it certainly does not contribute to the creation of agreements!

I saw how a young Russian entrepreneur tried to negotiate with an ordinary Russian oligarch, trying with all his might to show himself as a big businessman, throwing himself obscure terms and flashing a gold Rolex purchased through an online store for $200. Instead of clearly formulating the essence of the proposal, its specifics, he spent time creating his image, while his interlocutor openly made fun of his interlocutor, as if casually asking tricky questions about the slopes of Courchevel and stock quotes of non-existent companies. A wise negotiator remains truthful with himself. He knows how to play games, but he doesn't want to pretend to be something other than who and what he is, because in the context of negotiations it will inevitably come out. He is patient with his interlocutor and does not rush him anywhere, because everything that happens in negotiations happens naturally. Any tension, an attempt to achieve everything and anything at once leads to disruption of the natural process. Well, the most important thing is the internal attitude towards the other - “I’m here only to help you make the right decision. I don’t care what it will be, because it’s your choice and your responsibility, but as long as I’m here, I’ll do my best to be useful to you!”

Negotiation workshop

Answer a few questions:

1. In negotiations, what provocations of your opponent are your “sheep” and “donkey” involved in responding to?

2 During the next negotiations, try to train your “owl”, answer all your opponent’s questions with a five-, seven-, ten-second delay, watch the opponent’s reaction. Don’t be afraid to seem “inhibited”; treat this task as a psychological experiment.

Expert opinion

There are no perfect negotiators. A manager who had just negotiated billions of dollars in supplies on a business trip was unable to get a window seat when checking in at the airport. An experienced purchasing department specialist never got a discount from the plumber from the housing office. The driver was able to convince the police officer not to deprive him of his license for the violation, but does not know how to force the child to prepare his homework.

Many people try to find in trainings, books, and websites the secret of those “magic words” that will ensure victory in any conversation. And the fact that such secret knowledge does not exist may be an unpleasant surprise for them.

There are general rules that almost any specialist recognizes. It is necessary to carry out preliminary preparation, find out the necessary details not only about the situation, but also about the personality of the opponent, and plan possible options for the course of the conversation. After each successful and unsuccessful meeting, conduct a short express analysis. It's like brushing your teeth twice a day and doing exercises. But dentists have their work cut out for them, and billions of diet pills are sold around the world every year. And a lot of employees whose bosses cannot understand why this good guy has such a bad result.

The difference between successful negotiators is not only in the preparation and post-analysis of the meeting. The more you communicate with specialists from various fields, the more you understand that even the most important decisions are most often made under the influence of the emotional state of the participants. You can think of a variety of business situations. Including the ruin of enterprises only because two co-owner friends could not decide which of them was “cooler.”

But the most striking example for me was holding negotiation matches for the professional community of technical specialists. Then I took cases that I had played many times with a variety of managers. It was already known for certain whose position was better, which role was winning. Without changing the introductory information, I only adjusted the job titles. All the strong roles, the winning roles, got engineering positions. And in some places the negotiating position was even further strengthened. That is, all the roles of “techies” in the cases have obviously become stronger. But in every round, the people playing the role of the technician lost. Not because of a poor negotiating position or lack of arguments in their defense. They lost first emotionally, and then actually, giving away all the advantage. After the end of the game, the participants made excuses: “You just gave cases where the positions of us, the techies, were, as usual, the weakest.”

An experienced negotiator feels free to let fear or greed interfere with an agreement. I believe in only one way to achieve such “negotiation enlightenment.” To paraphrase the words of a classic: practice, practice, practice.

Marat Kozlov

consultant of the St. Petersburg school of negotiators “SHIP”, deputy of the Porokhovye municipal organization, chairman of the information commission

What are the tough negotiation strategies?
Examples of tough negotiations

Tough negotiations differ from ordinary ones in that they are carried out using prohibited techniques. Such methods are usually practiced when the transaction is one-time and you need to get the maximum benefit from it. Every step forward in such situations means a loss of one’s own benefit.

How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations

Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Try to understand how you can influence your interlocutor (for example, the prospects of cooperation with your company) and how he can put pressure on you (for example, more favorable conditions offered by your competitors).
Indicate the desired result. Set for yourself “pessimistic” and “optimistic” boundaries, beyond which it makes no sense to negotiate. Then you will be able to defend your interests and not go beyond the established limits. It is also important to know what your partner wants from these negotiations and, depending on this, develop a strategy.
Determine what you are willing to sacrifice. It is better to immediately indicate how much you are willing to “pay” for the result of negotiations to move from a “pessimistic” value of some parameter to an “optimistic” one.

CEO speaks

Mikhail Urzhumtsev, General Director of Melon Fashion Group OJSC, St. Petersburg

I am not a supporter of harsh methods and try to avoid conflicting partners. Under no circumstances should you leave your partner with the impression that he has been “squeezed out” to the maximum. Further cooperation in such a situation is quite problematic. Negotiations should take place in a comfortable environment, and even business communication should not be devoid of a touch of humor.

Of course, there were situations when we firmly defended our positions. For example, quite recently I had to use a non-standard method of persuasion, but it can be characterized more like a conversation between a man and a man. In addition, our side attracted another level of negotiators - people occupying higher administrative positions.

In the first stage of negotiations, it is worth involving managers who are able to make decisions independently and correctly navigate non-standard situations. Communication at the level of directors or owners is the last stage, since there is less room for maneuver.

Tough Negotiation Strategies

There are two strategies for conducting tough negotiations - defensive (defensive) and attacking.

Defensive strategy. It should be used if you assume that the enemy is stronger than you professionally, emotionally and mentally. In this case, you should strictly fix those parameters below which you cannot fall. Ideally, the person who enters into such negotiations should not have the authority to make the final decision. For example, you are negotiating, and the agreement itself is signed and endorsed by people who were not present at the negotiations, for example, members of the board of directors.

Usually, negotiations with the authorities take place according to this scheme. A businessman who deals primarily with commercial rather than political issues is a weaker negotiator compared to a politician.

Attack strategy. It is better to use it if you expect to win. It is better to send a person to such negotiations who can quickly navigate and make the right decision. Conflict is often beneficial for an attacking strategy: during conflict, a person loses control over himself and becomes easily controlled. In a state of passion, a negotiator is capable of making mistakes, which you can then use to your advantage.

An example of such tough negotiations is public debates, when it is extremely beneficial for the opposing party to lose control of themselves. Literally a couple of phrases - and your opponent begins to scream, sputter, mumble his own thoughts, say unnecessary things, and this makes a negative impression on the public. As a result, you, calm and reasonable, find yourself in a more advantageous position.

Will help you become an expert in negotiations.

How to behave in tough negotiation situations

Daria Ageeva, practicing psychologist, master's degree from the Faculty of Psychology, St. Petersburg State University

1. If your partner screams or bursts into furious speech in response to your proposals, then it is better to pause the negotiations or listen in silence (deep, slow breaths help to remain calm). When your partner stops yelling, say that you consider this behavior unconstructive and suggest that they focus on a specific problem. You can also politely say: “Sorry, we have a misunderstanding here.” If you can’t pause (due to time restrictions), go back. Restate the main points in thesis form. This will slow down the pace of negotiations.

2. If you receive a lot of information and do not have time to think about it or they try to overload you with it, you need to slow down the pace. Keeping records helps with this. In addition, if you didn’t take notes and suddenly start writing down (with the words: “This is really interesting, let me write it down!”), the person begins to think that he said something unnecessary and slows down the pace of the conversation.

3. If you feel that they are openly trying to manipulate you, switch roles. Parry with: “Good idea, what do you think about it? Personally, I’m not entirely sure.”

4. When faced with an undeniable fact, use an emotional response. Expressions like “I don’t like this” or “This proposal doesn’t make me very happy” are often stronger than good arguments.

5. If you are insulted, you can, in order to remain calm, switch from auditory to visual sensations - begin to carefully examine an object. You can play out the situation in your imagination and imagine your partner in a funny way (for example, reduce the height of the person who caused the anger by imagining him as a bug).

6. If you feel that your emotions are at their limit, try to realize what emotions you are experiencing. Name them: I'm scared, I feel guilty, I'm annoyed. Next, notice where tension arises in the body and try to relax and stretch this place. Shift your focus from emotions and thoughts to physical sensations - pull your feet towards you so that tension appears in your calves, then slowly relax. A great way to relax is to deliberately slow down your actions. Slowly take a bottle of water, slowly pour the water into a glass, drink in small sips while looking at the bubbles.

How to smooth out tough negotiations

Hard negotiations can and even need to be translated into soft ones, especially in cases where you are aimed at long-term cooperation. Use the following methods:

Be open to your interlocutor. To turn tough negotiations into soft ones, you must first of all be flexible and open yourself. Clearly state your position: perhaps this will force your interlocutor to follow the same path (see. Seller and buyer).

Talk about neutral topics. At the beginning of intense negotiations, it is sometimes useful to bring up topics that are not related to the conversation, but are interesting to the interlocutors, for example, hobbies (see. “Be your own” tactic).If you are meeting for the first time, you can tell a little about yourself and your company. Naturally, you will achieve greater effect if you do not turn the conversation into a formal presentation.

Examples of tough negotiations in practice

Hayk Lazaryan, General Director of VIP Cruise, Moscow

Example No. 1. One day we were planning important negotiations with a German cruise company, the purpose of which was to conclude a very profitable contract giving the exclusive right to sell cruises of this company on the Russian market. Naturally, the Germans considered several more similar proposals.

The German partners who arrived impressed us with their unfriendly appearance and closed nature. First, we set a luxurious table in our office. After lunch, negotiations began, which were very difficult, and at some point we had to take a break.

After the coffee break, the tense tone of the German side softened a little. But two hours later, when the main issues were discussed, the Germans made it clear that they were hungry again. Then I decided to take the guests to a good restaurant. But the discussion of possible cooperation that continued in the restaurant was not easy. The partners offered unacceptable conditions, did not listen to our arguments at all and did not want to make any concessions. There was no compromise. At some point it began to seem to me that the Germans were hesitating and were not yet inclined to make a final decision in our favor. Then I wanted to surprise them with something. Figuring that our competitors, most likely, took them to restaurants and that Russian cuisine with nesting dolls would no longer surprise them, I suggested that the guests go to a Russian bathhouse. Naturally, they agreed. We rented a VIP apartment, which had everything: a steam room, relaxation rooms, and its own bar. The Germans rested from seven in the evening until half past three in the morning. As a result, the costs paid off: we won the tender and signed an agreement on terms that were favorable to us. So sometimes in a situation of tough negotiations it is necessary to find non-standard solutions: the method of switching attention works flawlessly.

Example No. 2. It happens that people call and express their complaints to me personally. Such negotiations cannot be called soft, and my task as a leader interested in my clients is to relieve tension and move the negotiations into a peaceful direction.

I make sure to let the person know that I hear him and delve into his problems. This is achieved by the elementary technique of repetition. For example, he says: “You did not deliver the goods to us!” I support: “I see. We did not deliver the goods to you." The claims continue: “There was also a defect in the delivery.” I answer: “I see. There’s also a defect in the delivery.” And I even ask the client to speak more slowly as I am actually writing down the details of the complaint. If a person understands that his dissatisfaction has been taken into account, he will not aggressively demonstrate his “feelings”. The result is a constructive conversation that is beneficial to both parties.

You can successfully repel an attack by asking: “Please introduce yourself. What is the name of your legal entity? The more details you provide, the closer you will be to a conflict-free conversation. You asked a question, they answered it - this is already constructive interaction. If there are professionals on both sides, any deal turns into soft negotiations.

Example No. 3. If the situation is heating up, then any sudden action, a hit on the table, a loud “Enough!”, or an unexpected comparison will help. Incorrect questions should be answered openly and, if possible, symmetrical questions should be asked immediately. For example, as part of negotiations on cooperation, you are asked: “Do you want to make money from us?” The answer should be: “Yes, we strive to make money. You are not?".

If you are being forced to do something, say loudly: “You are putting pressure on me!” As soon as this is said, the possibilities of manipulation on the part of your interlocutor are significantly reduced. Then you can turn the conversation into a peaceful direction (if you are planning long-term cooperation) or even launch an offensive.

During tough negotiations, it is important to learn to control your state. Try to look at yourself from the outside, evaluate your actions. This approach will help you timely determine the line beyond which you can become a puppet in someone’s hands. You should be concerned if your gestures have changed, you began to perform strange actions: tapping on the table, rubbing your arms or legs unreasonably. So, stroking your thighs with both hands is a subconscious gesture that means that you want to leave the place of negotiations. If you notice this, it means that your subconscious is signaling you about danger. In this case, it is best to go out for a while, calm down and decide whether you want to continue negotiations or not. It is very useful to wash your face: applying water to the forehead triggers reflex mechanisms that calm the heartbeat and regulate metabolism. In three to five minutes you can regain your balance and decide whether you need to continue the conversation. If not, say that, unfortunately, you received an urgent call and you are forced to leave the negotiations. If you think that it is necessary to complete the task, calm down, gather your strength and go for the next “portion”.

We are forced to negotiate constantly: with parents, with children, with friends, with store clerks... And, of course, no business is built without negotiations. Any deal, any event requires negotiations.

Sometimes negotiations are easy, and a solution that suits all parties is found quickly. But sometimes you have to use some prohibited methods, or so-called tough negotiations. You can’t do without them when you need to get the maximum benefit from a transaction. By giving in to your opponent in tough negotiations, you lose your own benefit. So, first things first.

What are tough negotiations?

Negotiations in a tough style usually end in a deterioration of relationships, and it does not matter in whose favor the decision was made. If you have achieved your goal in tough negotiations, then hostility, and sometimes even hostility, from your competitor is guaranteed.

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It's even worse if you don't get your way.

In this case, your interlocutor may develop not only a feeling of superiority, but also contempt. If you have to deal with the same opponent in the future, then your chances of success are very small, even if you use the “defeat-win” technique. Of course, it is quite possible that you will use other means of putting pressure on your opponent. In the worst case scenario, when your opponent also uses the technique of tough negotiations, the situation may reach a dead end, and due to the enmity that has arisen towards each other, tough negotiations will develop into a conflict.

Hard style is a dangerous style.

All car enthusiasts know the phrase: “If you’re not sure, don’t overtake!” It can also be applied to a tough negotiation style, slightly paraphrased: “If you’re not sure, don’t use it!”

A tough negotiating style will be appropriate only if you do not intend to build good relationships with your opponent in the future and only want your terms to be accepted. And most importantly, you are completely confident that you have an undeniable advantage over your interlocutor.

If the above conditions are not met, tough negotiations are not your choice. The only exception is when you have nothing to lose and there is no other choice but to negotiate toughly. In this situation, you need to clearly understand that this is a big risk, and there is a high probability that you will lose.

The technique of tough negotiations comes down mainly to various methods of demonstrating one’s strength.

You may not have this power, but the main thing here is that your opponent feels and believes in your advantage. If the interlocutor believes in the demonstration of your strength, then there will be no need for real forceful actions.

Negotiation management: how to determine the psychotype of your interlocutor

When is it time to start tough negotiations?

They can begin if the following points have been achieved in the conversation:

All sides demonstrated a clear reluctance to concede; the phrase was heard: “We will not give up our position.” It is already difficult to motivate your interlocutor to make mutual concessions. This moment is the point of no return when you can apply the technique of tough negotiations.
If psychological pressure is used, an impact on your personality, the opponent has already begun tough negotiations.
You see that in a conversation you are used as a demonstration of the opponent’s advantages, for example, if a third party is involved in the negotiations and through your example the attacking party shows its strength. In this case, you should also apply a tough negotiating style and start fighting.
You feel that your interlocutor is trying to manipulate you. If pressure can be seen, then manipulation is the hidden side of pressure. As soon as the opponent’s attempts at manipulation begin, it’s time to start tough negotiations.
One of the negotiators begins to take away your means to manage the situation in the negotiations. For example, by saying “come back tomorrow,” your opponent is usually trying to say that you should give in to him and just agree to his terms.
If opponents initially have a conflict zone, that is, diametrically opposed views on the situation, then partner conversations are no longer appropriate. Only tough negotiations will help here.
If the interlocutor persistently tries to switch to too friendly communication with you. If you do not use the technique of tough negotiations and do not define a clear boundary of your communication, then the interlocutor may try to invade your personal space.

Expert opinion

I use tough negotiations only in emergency situations.

Mikhail Urzhumtsev,

General Director of Melon Fashion Group OJSC, St. Petersburg

I don't like tough negotiations and avoid relationships with conflicting partners. It’s not good when the interlocutor, after negotiations, is left with the impression that he was “squeezed out” to the maximum. Then you can forget about interaction in the future. Any negotiations should be conducted in a pleasant environment, and even better if communication with partners is not devoid of a bit of humor.

Of course, it happened that we had to resort to tough negotiations. For example, not so long ago we had to use a non-standard method of influence - I would call it “man's talk” - our side involved colleagues holding higher management positions in the negotiations. The initial stage of negotiations should be entrusted to managers who know how to make decisions and overcome non-standard situations. But negotiations at the level of owners or directors are rather the last stage, because in this case there is almost no room for retreat.

Psychology of Negotiation: 3 Focuses of Attention in Telephone Sales

Preparing for Tough Negotiations

If tough negotiations cannot be avoided, you need to prepare for them properly. Special training can help with this, which includes the following stages:

Preparation;
choosing a strategy for conducting tough negotiations;
choice of technique: “chatting” and “joining”;
planning a retreat.

Where to start preparing for tough negotiations?

highlight your strengths and weaknesses - your advantages over your opponent and what you are inferior to him in.
clearly define what result you want to get from the negotiations.
Decide what you can give in to your interlocutor.

What strategy should you choose for conducting tough negotiations?

defensive strategy. You can choose it if your interlocutor is “higher” than you professionally and stronger psychologically. It would be ideal if in such tough negotiations the right of the final decision would not be “played out”;
attacking strategy. This strategy will be appropriate if you are confident of your victory. Such negotiations are better handled by a person who can quickly navigate non-standard situations and make the right decisions.

Two basic techniques for conducting tough negotiations:

"attachment" technique. You should accept your opponent’s point of view, “join” him, as it were, and evaluate the situation through his eyes. Then, using arguments close to him, push the interlocutor to think about changing his opinion in your favor.
chattering technique consists in the constant repetition of phrases such as “we only want the best for you”, “we would like your company to become successful and prosperous”, etc. This is a kind of appeal to the lower human instincts - vanity and greed. If a tactic seems unethical to you, simply don't use it.

If you feel like you are being manipulated, try to smooth out tough negotiations in the following ways:

try to be open to communication. Express your position clearly to your interlocutor. Maybe he will start to behave the same way in response.
Switch the conversation to neutral topics. This will help relieve tension in tough negotiations. For example, ask about the interests and hobbies of your interlocutor. But be careful in choosing topics - they still need to be relevant.
Ask your interlocutor for help. A person is designed in such a way that he values those whom he has helped. For example, at the beginning of the conversation you can ask for a pen or notepad.
Avoid putting pressure on yourself. If you feel like you are being pressured, say so directly. This remark will unsettle your interlocutor a little and reduce his pressure on you.

Tough Negotiation Techniques: Tactics and Strategy

Strategies

If you plan to conduct tough negotiations, you cannot do without knowledge of “fighting” tactics.

Defensive strategy

Is your opponent a professional in his field and a very strong personality? Choose a defensive strategy for tough negotiations. In this case, determine for yourself the conditions that you can agree to. In such negotiations, a person who does not have the right to make a final decision will be more successful. For example, you participate in the negotiations themselves, but the agreement is already signed by the company’s management, who is not present at them. Negotiations with government structures are often carried out according to this scheme. After all, a businessman, who is primarily responsible for the commercial rather than the political side of negotiations, has a less powerful position compared to a politician.

Attack strategy

If you place a big bet on winning in tough negotiations, then use an attacking strategy. It is important, however, that you are able to react quickly to the situation and make decisions. In this technique, creating a conflict situation can help you. Under such conditions, the interlocutor loses control and may give in, as well as make mistakes in negotiations. And you can use your opponent's mistakes to your advantage. A striking example of the application of this strategy is public debate. It is beneficial for the enemy when the opponent loses ground from under his feet and ceases to control himself, shouts, cannot clearly formulate an answer, says unnecessary things, etc. Against the background of such an opponent, banal indifference will look advantageous.

Tactics

There are two main techniques for conducting tough negotiations - “giveaway” and “psychological comfort”.

"Giveaway" tactics

The main thing here is to adopt the point of view of your interlocutor, to make him believe that you have succumbed to his arguments. Then present his own arguments, but to your advantage, thereby making him doubt the initial arguments.

Tactics “Psychological comfort”

For this tactic, you need to use phrases as often as possible that express your desire for your opponent to succeed and for his business to prosper. Hearing this, the interlocutor begins to feel his importance, while becoming more compliant in some controversial issues. You can also play on your opponent’s vanity and greed by outlining to him the various benefits that he will receive by agreeing to your terms. This is a rather harsh psychological technique - a person loses the objectivity of the situation and begins to believe in the reality of future benefits.

In addition, you can play on the lack of competence of your interlocutor. By providing numerous terms, official data and statistical calculations, you will greatly puzzle him. Most likely, in order to hide his ignorance in this matter, he will be inclined to take your word for what you tell him.

The most experienced communicators can even use hypnotic techniques.

These methods from the field of NLP, introducing the opponent into a certain state of trance, include changing the timbre of the voice, mirroring, framing and others. All these methods lead to the interlocutor entering a light trance, while losing the ability to analyze what is happening.

The following technique for conducting tough negotiations is also very effective: you begin to conduct the conversation very sharply and harshly, plunging the interlocutor into a state of shock and conducting the conversation according to your own rules. When you see that your opponent begins to concede to you in some issues, change tactics to the opposite, show respect, sympathy and understanding to your interlocutor. This is human psychology - he feels gratitude, is imbued with trust in the interlocutor, who initially had a different point of view, and then supported yours.

The effectiveness of tough negotiations also depends on specific methods.

Tough Negotiation Techniquesaccording to attacking strategy

If you have chosen an attacking strategy, then there are two main methods of behavior in tough negotiations:

1) tactics of demands and ultimatums;

2) tactics of squeezing out concessions.

Ultimatum

This technique of tough negotiations comes down to a scheme: demands are made, and if the opponent disagrees, other methods of influence (for example, threats) are used. You present your opponent with a choice: an outcome that is undesirable for him and an extremely undesirable one.

This ultimatum technique can be considered effective if the negotiator accepted your demands, and it did not come to the actual use of threats. To achieve a positive result using demand tactics, the following should be observed: conditions:

The threat must have an impact on the interlocutor. Sometimes what seems scary to us will not mean anything to someone else.
Intimidation and threats must be clearly formulated, otherwise the opponent will not perceive them as truly possible.
Keep in mind that if threats don't have any effect on the other person, you may need to start making them. And don’t give up on your demands! Otherwise it will be your defeat.

Basic ultimatum techniques

Calculated delay

Delaying negotiations until a critical moment when the opponent is in an unfortunate position: he will have very little time; there will be no resources that he so counted on, etc. The other side of tough negotiations will simply be forced to decide: either give up, abandoning his terms, or try to do something else.

Example: On the air of the “To the Barrier” program, two politicians agitated the audience. But one of them (V. Zhirinovsky) communicated so actively with the audience, without giving the slightest chance to interrupt him, that the presenter (V. Solovyov) was completely unable to express his position. The program came to an end, and Zhirinovsky’s opponent was still unable to convincingly express his arguments. As a result, TV viewers cast their votes for the more convincing participant.

Choice of two evils

When conducting tough negotiations, offer your opponent several options for solving the problem. These options, of course, should be successful primarily for you, but also not offend your opponent very much. An undesirable method of this technique is the use of blackmail. After all, if it comes to the implementation of threats, then you will not achieve your initial goal of negotiations.

Example: the student does not want to study, and the teacher gives him a choice: either study or fail the exams and be expelled! What is the least disadvantage for a student?

Shutter tactics (“Moscow is behind us!”)

Tell your opponent that you are placed in a very strict framework and your position, no matter how much you want, cannot be changed. Then the interlocutor must choose: either accept your terms and get at least something from the agreement, or refuse and get nothing.

Example: you come to the market, the seller asks 500 rubles for his goods. You say that you only have 300 rubles. What is the likelihood that the seller will agree to your terms?

Methods of demands and ultimatums involve the use of destructive methods of influence, i.e. coercion of the opponent. Please note that an ultimatum is the most aggressive technique for conducting tough negotiations, and any positive relations between opponents in the future are unlikely.

The second group of tough negotiation methods is squeezing out concessions or positional pressure.

The following principle applies to the technique of this method: you do not express all your demands at once, but gradually. First, offer the most attractive conditions, then those that are beneficial to you. Thus, you create positional pressure - you put your interlocutor in such conditions when he has to give in to you.

An important condition for the effectiveness of this method of conducting tough negotiations is the sincere interest of the other party in concluding a deal.

Effective tips on how to resist manipulation

Basic techniques for squeezing concessions

"Closed door"

You reject the offer to negotiate, thereby forcing the other party to “beg” you. The appointment of negotiations becomes the opponent's goal. By agreeing to negotiate, you are doing a favor and giving in to your opponent. As a result, the other party is in a situation of “gratitude” due to what it owes you for the concession. In this technique, it is important to clearly calculate the time - you should not agree immediately, but you should not delay the appointment of negotiations. Your opponent may find another way out of the situation during this time.

Example: The girl and the guy really like each other. The girl dreams of the guy proposing to her, and the guy wants this too. He proposes marriage to her, but she refuses... He asks again - she says no. The third time, the girl “reluctantly” agrees. As a result: the guy feels that he is obliged to the girl, because she met him halfway.

"Initial condition" or "pass mode"

As a condition for starting negotiations, you require a preliminary concession and already receive something before the negotiations themselves.

Example: In the famous fairy tale about Cinderella, the stepmother is not at all against Cinderella going to the ball. But before that, she should clean everything up, wash the floors, sort out the cereal, plant flowers, and then she can go.

"Visification" or "last requirement"

By negotiating hard and reaching an agreement with the other party, you are saying that you do not have such approval rights and you need management approval. After a break, you state that the contract is basically approved, but some changes need to be made. This technique will work if you follow the following steps: conditions:

such negotiations should exhaust the opponent. You can use the following tricks for this: use complex logical conclusions, meaningless sentences in your speech, delay the negotiation process, switch to unimportant topics, pause in the discussion, etc.
The submitted amendments should only slightly adjust the agreement reached in your favor, but not radically change it.

If you have taken into account the conditions described above, then your opponent will be more likely to be forced to agree to your latest demands than to start negotiations again from the beginning. This technique of conducting tough negotiations can easily be used several times. After all, you can change the requirements little by little several times in order to get the initially planned result.

"External Danger"

During tough negotiations, you can agree to the opponent's terms, but state the possibility of external factors that may prevent the fulfillment of these conditions. This way you allow for the possibility of violating the agreement reached.

When using a tough negotiation style, especially ultimatum or pressure techniques, one cannot do without psychological influence on the interlocutor, i.e., the use of tricks. They help reduce the resistance of the interlocutor’s “defense” and prevent him from objectively assessing the situation. The most common are the following tricks:

“attacks on the opponent”: attempts to belittle the dignity of the interlocutor; comments about how he looks or what he says; pretend not to notice him, and others;
deliberately not adhere to the ethics of communication: when meeting, do not shake hands, do not offer to sit down;
“I see right through your motives” - interpretation of the interlocutor’s statements as allegedly aggressive, emotional reaction to the opponent’s words, as if he was planning something against you.

There are times when you have to participate in tough negotiations against your will (and quite often, frankly speaking). Is it possible to mitigate the impact of such negotiations? What should you do if you want to level out the hard style in negotiations?

Don't panic, but try to calm down and not take the situation too personally, because this hostility arose because of the situation and is not aimed at you personally.
The main technique for stopping tricks and manipulations on the part of your opponent is to say these actions out loud, which disarms your interlocutor.

The outcome of tough negotiations is always the same: one side wins, the other remains a loser. And further cooperation with an opponent is almost always impossible, because you are rivals and will want to win back at any convenient opportunity.

Conflicts in business: how not to lose money after a quarrel with partners

Expert opinion

Sometimes in a situation of tough negotiations it is necessary to find non-standard solutions

Hayk Lazaryan,

General Director of VIP Cruise, Moscow

Once we were preparing for very important negotiations with a German company. The goal of these negotiations was to sign an extremely profitable agreement, according to which we received the right to exclusively sell cruise tours of this company in Russia. At that time, the Germans had several more tempting offers that they were considering.

At the meeting, German colleagues behaved very unfriendly and remained closed. These were tough negotiations, and they were very difficult. Soon we decided to take a break. After the coffee break, the Germans changed their tone somewhat to a more friendly one. After a couple of hours we discussed the main points, and the Germans hinted that they were hungry. We took our colleagues to an excellent restaurant, where further negotiations again became difficult. Both our sides could not reach a compromise. The German side did not want to give in, offering us completely unfavorable conditions. The Germans hesitated and were not yet ready to accept our proposal. I realized that now I had to come up with a creative solution to these tough negotiations. Having decided that our competitors had already treated them to Russian cuisine and given them nesting dolls, I invited our German colleagues to visit the Russian steam room. We rented a VIP bathhouse with several steam rooms, relaxation rooms, a bar, and swimming pools. Our guests rested there until the morning. As a result, our expenses were not in vain - the agreement was signed on terms favorable to us. This is how the technique of a non-standard approach and switching attention worked.

How to smooth out tough negotiations

The simplest way to avoid defeat– do not support tough negotiations. Do you see that your opponent is unfriendly and has started to negotiate toughly? You have the right to end the conversation and leave. If you feel that the situation is getting out of control, make a sudden move or say loudly: “Stop it!” Don't react aggressively to the other party's insensitive questions, but answer openly.

For example, you are negotiating a possible co-production, and they say to you: “Are you trying to make money from us?” Answer: “Yes, we want to make a profit. You are not?".

Oddly enough, it is possible (and sometimes even necessary) to transform tough negotiations into a more friendly mood, especially if you are planning further cooperation with the negotiators.

During tough negotiations, it is important to learn to control your state.

you tap on the table;
your gestures have changed;
You rub your arms or legs for no reason.

If, for example, you move your thighs with both hands, this may mean your subconscious unpreparedness for negotiations and uncertainty in your position. Your subconscious thus warns of danger. If you notice this gesture in yourself, ask them to pause to calm down and determine whether it is worth continuing to conduct tough negotiations.

A great tip in such cases is to wash your face with water. Water calms the heartbeat and restores peace of mind. Are you ready to resume negotiations? Then proceed with renewed vigor and see the job through to the end. If you decide to end tough negotiations, let them know that you received an urgent call and you are forced to reschedule the meeting.

Are you forced to make decisions and operate with some facts? Be sure to say that you need time to check these facts. Any fact must have a source behind it. If the opponent cannot indicate it, feel free to state that you will make a final decision only if you receive all the information.

6 effective rules for restraining yourself in tough negotiations

Your interlocutor started shouting and began to behave aggressively. In this case, either ask for a break, or continue to listen silently, remaining calm. Deep breathing will help with this. As soon as the interlocutor finishes his speech, say that such behavior will not lead to a solution to the issue. Or politely answer: “I apologize, apparently we have a misunderstanding here.” If it is impossible to take a break in the negotiations, restate your original position. This will return the negotiations to the start and on a calmer path.
Your interlocutor bombarded you with information and data, and you don’t have time to comprehend everything? Try slowing down your conversation speed in tough negotiations. Start unexpectedly writing down the words of your interlocutor, and he, thinking that he said something unnecessary, will slow down the pace of the conversation.
If you feel attempts at manipulation on the part of your interlocutor, change places with him. You might say, “Great idea. What do you think? Personally, I’m not entirely sure.”
Has your opponent presented a fact that is difficult to refute? Answer emotionally, like “I don’t like this” or “this moment doesn’t make us happy at all.” Surprisingly, such answers are often stronger than compelling arguments.
The interlocutor stooped to insults. Don't react, try to abstract yourself. You can remain calm while looking at some objects or present the whole situation in a comical light. For example, imagining your opponent as a midget, furiously waving his arms.
Feel like you're about to explode? Try to understand exactly what emotions you are experiencing and say them to yourself. For example: I’m angry, I’m upset, I feel guilty, etc. Notice where this tension is concentrated in your body and try to stretch it. Switch your attention to physical sensations - pull your feet towards you until they are tense, and then calmly relax. Another effective method of relaxation is to perform activities at a slow pace. For example, slowly take a bottle of water, slowly pour it into a glass, look at the bubbles that appear, and slowly drink.

What will the training give you?

- Knowledge of basic negotiation strategies and tactics;

- Skills in using negotiation techniques and special techniques;

- Confidence and ability to withstand pressure from an opponent;

- The ability to destroy the opponent’s beliefs, recruitment;

- Methods for recognizing and overcoming manipulation
  (working in the form of practical skills and reactions);

The skill of identifying vulnerable areas of the individual.

There are a number of significant points in tough negotiations:

First : the initial stage is always associated with the presence of an unresolved conflict and it is important to show that you are also protected, and there is no need to play with you without rules.

Second: if you see that tough negotiations have already begun, it is important to outplay your opponent, change, delay the course of negotiations, break the pattern, break the imposed script, prepare a way out of the conflict...

Third: in tough negotiations, the one who plays more wins graceful, not rude: “Flexibility determines success!” “The most flexible element of the system controls the system!”

Fourth: if you “play” tough negotiations, you must psychologically be prepared to take extreme measures. We live in a fairly dense world, and if opponents need to find a way to put pressure on me by vigorously delving into their own environment, they will do it. I would do the same if some defining interest arose. In tough negotiations, you must be very clear about what will happen if you cross the line: The price for a mistake can be a career, a significant relationship, and sometimes even life.

Hard negotiations are the penultimate step. Extreme measures are possible when a person’s life becomes simply an element of bargaining. You understand that any move can lead to physical destruction. Until this moment, tough negotiations are ongoing, which can still be maintained by moving them into the mainstream of the negotiation process. If in tough negotiations your opponents understand that you are not capable of war, they start it themselves. If they see your readiness for war, negotiations will most likely continue.

If you avoid conducting tough negotiations at all costs, there are probably a lot of people who are already conducting them in relation to you. The resource of one is degraded at the expense of the resource of the other. Therefore, if you are not ready for tough negotiations, you will quietly lose them day after day. Just need to see who is using it….

In most cases, we do not even notice that active pressure is being put on us.

How to learn to recognize a manipulator, resist this pressure and, most importantly, how to learn to manipulate people yourself?

Video review of Evgeniy Spiritsa’s training “Tough Negotiations”:

Alexander Shchepetov, Member of the Union of Cinematographers, Associate Professor of the Belarusian State Academy of Arts , directorSOOO Igromatic, Minsk

This training not intended for people who are afraid to ask for a salary increase and they believe that they need to be “irreconcilable” and be able to “fight” with their boss.

During the training, you develop skills and focus your attention in order to withstand confrontations of a more serious scale. The price of defeat in which is calculated in really large sums and loss of personal reputation or the reputation of the company.

The most unpleasant thing about tough negotiations is that you don't know who, when And How may initiate them against you. Therefore, preparation is everything. Then you simply won’t have time to leisurely read a book on this topic or consult with a specialist. The outcome of such negotiations is decided in a matter of minutes.

Video: freezing point and confusion,
embedding helplessness and counteraction (Evgeniy Spiritsa)

What will happen at the training:

ATTENTION: All communication techniques, methods and tools are neutral in themselves; they become honest or dishonest depending on the purpose of their use.

Criteria for a well-damaged result.
The skill of identifying vulnerable areas of the individual; unconscious zones of influence.
Work with objections.
Negotiations under conditions of a “criminal attack.”
Collection of accounts receivable.
Negotiations under conditions of government inspection. authorities (real inspection goals, standards of employee behavior, their patterns).
Negotiations under conditions of “raider” seizure.

Over two days there will be a lot of information, exercises and negotiation practice. And most importantly, as always we will immediately integrate skills and check their level in our negotiation sparrings (verbal sparring).

REVIEWS:

“Training “Hard Negotiations”. This is against those who are trying to manipulate us, sit on our necks and wave a saber, instill in you a feeling of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, in general, use you for themselves... (the list is long...).

Of course, the topic is not pleasant or simple, but first of all we must take care of ourselves, learn to love ourselves and protect ourselves in order to love others. Although the topic is called tough negotiations, we learned to solve all problems using positive techniques, although there are times in life when we really have to use this technique tough.

For us, who have attended these courses, where you sit down, where you get off, you will also be mentally beaten to the fullest extent.
It was especially interesting to observe the traffic cops with whom I spoke, correctly and gently applying the technique of tough negotiations. When I was released without a fine of 1,500 rubles, I thought that maybe the traffic cop was crazy, maybe he was sick or something. But when I was released for the second time, the assumption about unhealthy traffic cops somehow left me, and I realized that this communication technique works.

Of course, it’s better not to break the rules, but it’s still better to have something in your arsenal that can withstand the onslaught, especially since controversial situations often arise on the road.”

Sergey Demin, businessman, ST PRINT

Video review of Evgeniy Spiritsa’s training “Tough Negotiations...”:

Konstantin Kornelyuk, EPAM Systems

TRAINING CONTENT

What are tough negotiations?
The effectiveness of tough negotiations: what determines victory.
Distinctive features and basic rules for conducting tough negotiations.
Preparation and entry into negotiations, features of different types of entry.
Preliminary collection of information about the partner (about the situation) in the negotiations.
“Reading” information about a partner during negotiations: posture, gestures, facial expressions, speech and using it to your advantage.
The structure of negotiations and its options.
Tactics and technologies of negotiations in problematic, stressful, non-standard situations.
Skills in using the best negotiation techniques and special techniques from the practice of intelligence services.
Prevention of problematic situations.
Techniques and techniques: gaze, body, gestures, speech, “signs of weakness” (video workshop).
Methods of forceful pressure and harsh influence in negotiations: blackmail, bribery, “hard persuasion,” coercion.
Working with “psychological traps” (video workshop).
Manipulation techniques. How to resist influence and manipulation. The mechanism for conducting civilized confrontation.
Ways to increase self-confidence.
Stress resistance or building the skill to withstand blows.
Image as a resource in negotiations.
Work with objections.
Formation of partnerships with a negotiating partner.
Practical training of “tough negotiator” skills.
Negotiations under conditions "criminal hit."
Negotiations under scrutiny state authorities (real inspection goals, standards of employee behavior, their patterns).
How to become “one of our own” for any interlocutor and instill in him your beliefs.
How to speak in such a way as not to harm yourself or others with this speech, and also to protect yourself from “non-ecologically destructive phrases.
Criteria and models of a well-damaged result.
“Tricks of the tongue” to support an opponent and undermine his beliefs. Speech promotions.
Formation of emotional instability. Creation of depression, anxiety.
Destroying beliefs, creating helplessness and incongruity.
Embedding the non-resource part of the personality.
Identification of vulnerable areas of personality, unconscious areas of influence.

Video: fragment of Evgeniy Spiritsa’s training “Tough Negotiations”

New training terms:

♦ New models of the “question attack” technique.

♦ Subtle interruptions. What is the difference between belief and faith, from doubt and chance?

♦ “Drying out.”

♦ “Hard tricks of the tongue.” Contexts for using promotions.

♦ A new definition of the concept of manipulation and its use in practice, in business and personal life. Some techniques of seduction and recruitment.

Each course participant receives:

Course workbook.
An interactive encyclopedia on Tough Negotiations for self-study.
WITHD- a textbook on tough negotiations.
Collection of articles on manipulative technologies.
Video material for self-reinforcement.

Training Leader:

Evgeniy Valerievich Spiritsa

(Moscow) - head of the International Academy for the Study of Lies www.iarl.ru. Business coach, profiler, expert on security and anti-terrorist activities.

Since 1994, he has been conducting individual consultations and psychological diagnostics of enterprise personnel, as well as business training in various areas. Since 1993, he has been advising state and non-state structures on security issues. Education: Basic education - higher psychological; NLP – trainer; "Academy of Cooperation" (USSR-USA).

Question answer

TC: Evgeniy, There are quite a lot of trainings on “tough” and “combat” negotiations on the market now, at least in Russia. How is yours different?

Evgeniy Spiritsa: The answer is simple. Our training on tough negotiations is really very different from anything that is on the market. As a special services officer and in charge of training personnel, I studied any experience that would be useful for the officers of the unit. But when studying the “tough negotiations” trainings, we came across a very interesting phenomenon - we realized that under tough negotiations they try to sell everything they can, but at the same time they do not provide real models.

Famous trainer Vlada Ananich“Hard negotiations” training refers to trade negotiations when people manipulate prices and bluff strategies, but does not consider the psychophysiological aspects of the body’s response to stress and there is practically no description of the models.

Trainer at Oratorika Sergey Logachev By “tough negotiations” training we mean a repackaged NLP practitioner course, with the principles of calibration, adjustment and management characteristic of this course. So the question is, what to do if the manipulator has already gained your trust and imperceptibly “builds” into you a non-resource state, as, for example, friends, wives, husbands do. After all, this is often done unconsciously.

The main guru in the field of “tough negotiations” is considered to be Vladimir Kozlov. And it was especially interesting to get to him. But it was he who faced the greatest disappointment. The models he spoke about in them there are no criteria for achieving results from application. For example, I still don’t understand his two main techniques - “strike from the void” and “strike into the void”. These techniques do not have criteria for their implementation. The only advantage of Vladimir Kozlov is the creation of a scientific conceptual apparatus to describe the “tough negotiations” model, but the techniques themselves are not in this training. You can’t protect yourself from mental destruction with information, you need a skill, not a set of concepts.

And most importantly, none of these coaches have ever negotiated in a situation of hostage-taking, criminal raids or raids - they are theorists.

Having understood this, we took our practical experience and described it, creating 12 Models That Are Really Applicable in Tough Negotiations Situations. These models give results immediately in the first hour of training.

TC:Why must the negotiations be tough? Can’t everything be resolved peacefully?

Evgeniy Spiritsa: Sometimes, we don’t even notice that “tough negotiations” are being conducted against you. As part of the training, we consider not only hard aggressive “assaults”, but also, most importantly, when they “erase” your personality unnoticed for yourself. And here’s how to recognize such behavioral stereotypes, how to protect yourself from them – we will talk about this at the training.

TC: How does the ability to “read faces” and other things in which you are an expert help in tough negotiations? What will participants get from this (verification)?

Evgeniy Spiritsa: During the training we will work with psychological states and reading a face will allow us to understand the state of a negotiating partner or opponent and do it quite accurately.

What are the distinctive features of tough negotiations? Tough Negotiations: How to Win

How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations

Tough Negotiation Strategies

How to behave in tough negotiation situations

How to smooth out tough negotiations

Examples of tough negotiations in practice

What are tough negotiations?

Best article of the month

When is it time to start tough negotiations?

I use tough negotiations only in emergency situations.

Preparing for Tough Negotiations

Tough Negotiation Techniques: Tactics and Strategy

Strategies

Tactics

Tough Negotiation Techniquesaccording to attacking strategy

Basic ultimatum techniques

Basic techniques for squeezing concessions

Sometimes in a situation of tough negotiations it is necessary to find non-standard solutions

How to smooth out tough negotiations

6 effective rules for restraining yourself in tough negotiations

Company information

Say "Stop!"

Don't make excuses

Set intermediate goals

Make the other person listen to you

Defend your interests, not your ambitions

Give the right to refuse

What will the training give you?

There are a number of significant points in tough negotiations:

What will happen at the training:

REVIEWS:

TRAINING CONTENT

New training terms:

Each course participant receives:

Training Leader:

Evgeniy Valerievich Spiritsa

Question answer

TC: Evgeniy, There are quite a lot of trainings on “tough” and “combat” negotiations on the market now, at least in Russia. How is yours different?

TC:Why must the negotiations be tough? Can’t everything be resolved peacefully?

TC: How does the ability to “read faces” and other things in which you are an expert help in tough negotiations? What will participants get from this (verification)?