What to do: the child does not calm down. How to calm a child: effective methods and recommendations

Hello, today we will talk about children's tantrums. Almost every parent has faced this, but only a few have coped with it. We'll talk about their reasons and what parents need to do in order to stop their child's tantrums in a matter of minutes.

Psychologist, creator of the First Children's Academy and the School of Professional Parents, business coach and mother of four children (shared with her husband), Marina Romanenko talks about the true reasons for a child's hysteria and how to stop a child's tantrum in 2 minutes at any age.

What is hysteria? Causes of occurrence

I think you don’t need to look in a reference book to understand the definition of hysteria. All parents have encountered the situation when their children begin to cry loudly, fall to the floor and do not hear a single reasonable argument, and this can be called hysteria, and this happens at very different ages: at one year old, at 2, and at 10. years. And the reasons for hysterics, as a rule (now I’ll tell my parents what they don’t want to hear) is when we ignore them. And when children, perhaps, came up to us once, twice or three times, asked us something, or looked at us, or tugged at us, and we did not react to them, they choose ways to which we will have to react and, as a rule, - it's crying, falling, something to which we simply have to react.

At what age do tantrums begin?

You may encounter the fact that your child will begin to become hysterical even before he is literally a year old, but the peak, if you take all the children in the world, is one and a half to two years. This is the moment when they do it often, with pleasure and effectively. And it is very important to understand how to react to this correctly, so that in a matter of minutes you can simply localize it and change the child’s behavior so that he does not have to resort to this constantly.

What to do to stop the hysteria?

There is a simple, universal algorithm that will work with any age that will allow you to stop your child's tantrum in less than 2 minutes. It consists of only five points.

1. "React" After you hear the child crying, quickly turn your head in the direction where he is crying. Talking is prohibited.
2. “Join” If he is right in front of your feet, then go down to him or if he is a few steps away, walk up to him. Talking is prohibited.
3. "Analysis of the situation" Look at your child's facial expression. He may cry for various reasons. He may be angry, desperate, that he can’t get through to you, upset about something, you take this emotion from his face and ask him - “Are you upset? You're angry? Did something not work out for you?” And this will be a “bridge” that will allow your child to either nod back at you or disagree with you, but you have already turned it on. And if you did this, go to the next point - the fourth.
4. "Deep analysis of the situation" And here you need to understand the reason - what happened?! You may be thinking one thing, but your child may have something completely different in his head. Just ask - “What happened? Tell. I want to know, I want to help, or tell me what you want.” And the children begin to interact with you. It is very important here not to evaluate what they say, not to criticize and not to immediately try to give advice that they need to do something differently. Just listen. Just ask the next question – “Anything else?” When your child speaks out, move on to step five.
5. "Reply to child" You may not agree that he asked you for candy, lollipop, I don’t know, an iPhone, because everyone in the class bought it. If you don’t agree with him, tell them honestly – “I don’t plan to do this to you, I understand you, but I don’t plan. Because, because, because. Sorry." If you agree, then say, “Oh my God, thank you for telling me, now I understand exactly what to do. Come on, let's go do this."

How to understand a child who cannot speak?

There is one very important point here. So, if the child is not talking yet and is hysterical, try to offer him answer options - “Do you want this?” Show specifically, don’t ask, but point to some object, food or what he wants. “Either this or that—show me.” And even a small child of one year old will begin to show what he wants, and you will understand him more. Once you started, he responded to you, which means you included him in the conversation. Our physiology is so structured that the hysteria will subside as soon as you enter into a dialogue with your child.

How to prevent hysteria?

And you know, the last thing I want to say is how to prevent a child from having a tantrum in the first place. There is only one option to prevent a child from hysterics - this is to never ignore him. This does not mean that all of your time should be devoted to the child. This simply means that if you hear him and can react to him, react immediately because you don't know how important it is to him. THAT, for him, inside, according to his scale of values ​​and importance, what he wants to contact or say to you. If he doesn't hear back from you once, twice or three times, he will choose a method that you will still have to respond to. Therefore, react from the very beginning, and hysterics, as such, will pass altogether. You will forget what it is.

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: Note to moms!

Hello girls! Today I will tell you how I managed to get in shape, lose 20 kilograms, and finally get rid of the terrible complexes of fat people. I hope you find the information useful!

An emotional explosion in a child stupefies almost every adult (especially if this adult is a young parent). It was the same for me. When Maxim “exploded” sometimes, I naively thought that it was temporary and would soon pass. But the older my baby got, the more often “something” appeared in him...

He had more and more reasons to cry: he received only half an apple instead of a whole one; not allowed to lick the floor; The scissors were taken away! In general, the list was impressive and constantly updated.

At some point, the hysterics stopped throwing me into a stupor, but began to irritate me greatly. And this irritation poured out on his own son (my dear blood!). I had to urgently study the material.

“Hysteria is a natural mechanism for relieving tension,” says child psychologist Elizaveta Filonenko. It turns out that this is a physiological process and this is the norm. This knowledge calmed me a little - everything is fine with my son. The psychologist explains that the baby's brain is not yet developed to restrain his emotions. At an early age, hysteria is a manipulation and it does not arise out of the blue, as it seemed to me. Elizaveta Filonenko in the book “Raising a child from 1 year to three years.

Reboot” states that such a “flash” occurs when the child already understands that with its help he gets what he requires. The slogan: “All the best is for children” - spoils the baby (by the way, I suspected this for a long time). “The child gets used to the fact that demonstrations of anger and suffering lead to the fact that his desires are fulfilled.” This experience of communication is consolidated for many years and can continue into adulthood...

So, my top methods of dealing with children's hysterics.

How to calm a child during a tantrum

1. Take the child to a place where there are no witnesses. “One person is always enough to support and calm the child.” The baby does not need all the relatives, just one person, it is better if it is mom or dad.
2. Stay close. The baby is afraid to be left alone with his emotions. The only time you can step away is if you yourself cannot control yourself. (Once, during a hysteria, I closed the door to the room and my son began to scream even more: he asked so much not to leave. But I only realized this later...).
3. No explanation! A child during a hysteria cannot perceive information. I also made this mistake: I explained that this is not the right way to behave. In general, I was sure that the baby was able to calm down quickly (as you understand, I was wrong...).
4. Hug! If he fights, then hug him from behind and stroke him. This will help him calm down.
5. Don't shout or hit! (I think there is no need to explain why). When I can’t contain my emotions, I repeat out loud: “he’s not to blame, he’s not to blame, he’s still small, he needs help.” These phrases help me cool down emotionally. There is also advice to breathe deeply, but this does not help me - I need to speak out at this moment, and not remain silent.
6. If you are calm, the child is calm (how simple it sounds, right?). First of all, show your composure. The baby, looking at you, will calm down (and the 5th point will help you here again).
7. Stand your ground. If the hysteria happened because of the ban, then there is no need to cancel it. If the child understands that tantrums work, then they will become demonstrative. If you want to change the ban, then do it in a calm environment.
8. Voice your feelings! Kids don’t yet understand their feelings, so we need to pronounce them: “you’re tired, you feel bad, you’re offended, you’re upset and I understand you.”
9. After a hysteria, there is no need to demand an apology and start a “debriefing”. Children under three years old will not understand what you want from them, and for children over three years old you need to find another time.

“Parents are usually responsible for frequent repetitions of hysterics,” warns the psychologist.

And if your child often throws tantrums, then you need to:

• Strictly follow the daily routine.
• Turn off the phone and TV.
• Temporarily do not take your baby to noisy places.
• Play with natural materials with your child: sand, stones, water.
• Add soothing agents to the bath 1 – 2 times a week.

Under no circumstances should you use the TV to feed and calm your child - establish emotional contact with the baby. Don't trust his soulless technique at such moments.

If hysterics have become frequent, the psychologist advises keeping a “hysteria diary.” Describe all the details: when, how, under whom and under what circumstances the hysteria occurs. And soon you will identify the circumstances that cause an emotional breakdown. For example, if a baby cries in public places, then most likely he gets tired faster in crowded places. Therefore, it is better not to take it with you to shops, on visits or to public events.

Thanks to these tips, after a while I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at my son’s tantrums from a different angle: my eye stopped twitching (literally!), my hair didn’t stand on end (this is already figurative), and a clear plan appeared in my head actions. Now I can not only adequately respond to an emotional outburst, but also help the baby cope with the feelings that have gripped him (at the same time with my own).

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Adults use words and facial expressions to express their emotions, but a baby who has just been born does not yet know how to talk and can notify about any changes in his condition by screaming or crying. The mother must learn to understand by the nature of the “sound signals” what is bothering her baby, and help him cope with the unpleasant situation. Today, a site for mothers will give some useful recommendations on how to calm a newborn baby, based on the cause of his anxiety.

What to do first?

As soon as the baby begins to whine, the mother should clearly know what to do in this situation:

1. Calm down. Experienced mothers of many children can easily cope with this task, but if you have your first child, you will have to quickly learn to pull yourself together. This is not always easy, because some children cry constantly, and this condition exhausts both the child and everyone around him. If there is a husband or other family members nearby, put the baby in their hands temporarily, leave the room and catch your breath. Have you calmed down? Now your task is to help the baby return to a calm state.
2. Find out the reason for crying. There can be quite a lot of factors that cause a child’s dissatisfaction. They need to be eliminated step by step, one by one, until you get to the cause that has become an irritant for the child.
3. Eliminate the cause of concern. If you learn to recognize a baby’s condition by the nature of his behavior and crying, you will find a couple of universal ways to calm an infant.

Never ignore any manifestation of anxiety on the part of your baby, hoping that “maybe he will calm down himself.” Infants do not cry or scream out of nowhere: such a manifestation of emotions signals the presence of discomfort - hunger, heat, wet diapers, pain, etc. You, as a parent, have a responsibility to understand your child, no matter how difficult it may seem at first.

Causes of anxiety in newborn babies

There are several main reasons why infants behave restlessly:

1. Hunger.
2. Air has accumulated in the tummy.
3. Overfilled diaper or wet diaper.
4. Hypothermia or overheating.
5. Discomfort from wrinkles in clothes and diapers.
6. Colic.
7. Overexcitement or overwork.
8. Feeling of fear.
9. Pain caused by disease or vaccination.

As you can see, the baby has enough reasons to be worried.

How to calm a baby?

And now on the website we will analyze each of the reasons in order and find out how to eliminate them.

1. The child may get hungry. Our Soviet-era grandmothers will say that a child needs to be breastfed after a certain period of time, but modern pediatricians recommend feeding a newborn at his first request. If the baby suddenly whines, perhaps he is just hungry. In this case, give him the breast, while making sure that he takes it correctly. All children at the age of 1 month constantly need maternal warmth and attention, so the nipple is a unique way to understand that mother is nearby. Even if the child is not very hungry at this moment.
2. After feeding, the baby swallows some of the air with the milk. And if he doesn't burp it up on time, it can become a cause of concern. So, how to calm a crying one-month-old baby in this case? After you've fed your baby, pick him up in an upright position with his chin on your shoulder and lightly tap him on the back. The air will come out and the child will immediately calm down.
3. Discomfort from feeling damp. The diaper must be changed every 4 hours and after each bowel movement. Diapers will have to be changed several times more often, so as soon as you hear that the baby is groaning, check if he is wet.
4. He feels stuffy or cold. Overheating is as harmful to a newborn as hypothermia, due to the immaturity of the heat exchange system. Therefore, check whether his room is too stuffy or cool, and whether he is wearing a lot of clothes. Do not dress your child in clothes made of synthetic materials and ventilate his room more often.
5. Buttons on clothes or folds in diapers can cause discomfort for a baby. Use only soft diapers made from natural materials and without pills, and dress children under 1 month in vests without buttons. Change your baby's clothes and swaddle him and rock him a little to calm him down. Sometimes swaddling with handles helps to pacify even the most active screamers: a tight fit of the fabric is associated with tightness in the womb.
6. The child is overexcited and does not want to sleep. This happens when there are guests at home. The emotions received by the child during communication do not allow him to sleep peacefully, and whims may begin.

Bathing before bed, a light massage, rocking in a crib or stroller, an evening walk, breastfeeding at night, a pacifier, a pleasant melody or a pleasant monotonous sound, hissing, rocking, a lullaby, a mobile over the crib with funny little animals and pleasant music - ways to calm down before infant sleep, mass. The same methods can be used when the baby is overtired when daytime sleep is not enough. And in order to prevent the baby’s repeated whims at night, it is necessary to establish a daily routine.

1. Sometimes babies left alone in a room can get scared. This usually happens when the mother, having safely put the baby to sleep, goes to do household chores. The child, waking up and not finding anyone nearby, begins to worry. To prevent whining from turning into screaming and crying, you should quickly return to the room and rock the crib or pick up the baby in your arms. Small children under 1 month especially need this.

And a couple more useful tips. Children from birth to 3 months calm down faster from techniques that remind them of intrauterine life: sucking, rocking, hissing, laying on their side in the fetal position and swaddling. And starting from three months, babies are already able to switch attention from one object to another and look at it for a long time. Colored paper, balloons, rattles, bright pictures in a book will help him get distracted, and soon he will forget why he started this whole concert.

How to help a child with colic?

Colic is the most common cause of intense, tearful crying, when the baby characteristically curls his legs and his tummy becomes hard and swollen. Usually observed daily in the evening, and many mothers throw up their hands, not knowing how to calm their one-month-old baby. There are several proven ways to reduce pain caused by the immaturity of the gastrointestinal tract of a newborn:

1. Lay him on his back and, using closed fingers, carefully, controlling the pressure, begin to massage the tummy clockwise, avoiding the liver and navel area.
2. Warm a clean diaper or blanket on the radiators and apply the warm side to the tummy.
3. Place your baby in the sling, exposing your belly and his, and walk around the room, humming a lullaby. Hissing softly next to a month-old baby's ear is a little unusual, but this approach may remind him of the sounds of his mother's blood flow and breathing when he was still in her belly.

If no conservative methods have helped, and you do not know how to calm and put a newborn baby to sleep, you can seek help from a pediatrician who will prescribe medications that are safe for infants against excessive gas formation: Espumisan in the form of a suspension, Plantex or fennel-based tea.

And you should definitely reconsider your diet: it is possible that the child reacts to certain foods that are best excluded for a while.

How to calm your baby if he is sick?

If the above reasons are excluded one after another, but the crying does not stop, it is worth paying attention to whether there are any additional symptoms indicating the onset of the disease: fever, inflamed mucous membranes, rash on the face or body. Three things most often cause concern:

1. Teeth cutting. Pain in the gums can be relieved by a cooled soft gel ring, as well as special painkillers to relieve itching, approved at this age: Kalgel or Dentinox-N. You need to wrap a clean finger with sterile gauze and apply a little product to the inflamed gums.
2. Hysterical incessant crying is characteristic of otitis media, when the remains of breast milk or formula enter the ear canals and cause inflammatory processes in the ear. The pain in this case can be so severe that small children refuse to breastfeed because... the sucking process causes them an attack of pain. Try pressing the tragus with your finger: if the child jerks his head back and screams, this is a serious reason to urgently consult a doctor. To relieve pain, you can give Nurofen children's syrup according to the dosage indicated on the package.
3. The period after vaccination is often accompanied by pain; hyperemia and swelling may be observed at the injection site, which affects the well-being of the infant. To help him cope with the pain, you can give him Nurofen and Fenistil antihistamine drops the day before, on the day of vaccination and the day after it.

Remember, all medications and doses are prescribed strictly by the pediatrician: independence in these matters is not encouraged.

Are you tired, confused, and have only one desire - to understand your 3-year-old child? Do not despair! We will tell you how to calm a crying child, prevent his hysteria, and also give doctor's recommendations!

What is the best way to calm a little robber?

Hello girls! Let's talk about our “bad kids”: babies and toddlers, “capricious ones” and “psychics”. You are mothers, and I am a mother, so we will share our experience, maybe something will sprout!

I have three sons of completely different ages. Therefore, the topic of how to properly calm whims, an instant “I want” or even cope with a child’s hysteria is EXTREMELY relevant. Today I will share with you the experience of an experienced mom.

Possible causes of tears in 3-year-old children and ways to eliminate them

My middle son is 3 years old. Situations when he tries to defend his rights, showing his stubbornness, occur every day. Do not panic! At this age, such behavior is considered normal.

A tiny person can show his character in various forms.

For myself, I have learned several immutable rules. I hope they will help you get through this difficult moment in your family’s life as painlessly as possible, and you will be able to understand how to calm a crying child.

1. Learn to switch your baby to other things in time. This will help you calm him down and not lead the situation to conflict.

My “darling” has fixed ideas: watch cartoons, play computer, tablet or Tetris. What to do: modernity dictates its own rules, so I make my own adjustments, trying to limit the time for playing and watching cartoons. And then the most interesting thing begins: we (my child) begin to howl and cry loudly, pitifully calling for another tiny, tiny drop of time to watch a cartoon or play a game.

Nowadays, you can’t live without a tablet...

What to do, because crying can develop into something more? Moms, just calm down! The impending conflict can be stopped:

• Need to wait for the main peak of the scream(the main thing is not to miss the next “entry of psychosis”);
• Preferably remove the object of “heated passions” from sight;
• AND switch attention.

Decide for yourself how to distract your child. You know his interests better. I try to distract mine with one of his favorite activities:

In this way, we forget about cartoons, computer games and other nonsense.

2. If you punished your child, scolded him, put him in a corner, deprived him of a cartoon or sweets - do not give up and do not give in, be “firm” in your decisions.

Imagine, I recently had an incident with my youngest. He is 1 year old (and 3 months old). It became a fashion for him to crawl up to the computer and press the beautiful bright shutdown button.

The situation is still the same: it seems too small to scold, but I did what I did. Please don't throw stones at me. In general, I put him in the corner! Yes, yes, you heard right. She pointed to the computer button, shook her finger with all severity, cursed and put her in a corner. Of course, he cried a lot, I really wanted to feel sorry, but I didn’t show it. 2-3 minutes passed, I took him to the computer, once again pointed to the button and shook my finger. He understood everything! After this incident, he does not press the button! So, The “firmness” of the decision had its “fruits”.

Sometimes it is worth taking drastic measures to resolve some misunderstandings.

But sometimes circumstances force us to back down. For example, this is not the first day you have been locked up at home with two cold children. Naturally, their energy has nowhere to go, they begin to play pranks and mischief more than usual. In this case, categoricalness is not appropriate. Discipline is harder to achieve these days, and maybe not worth it at all. I repeat, any situation requires an individual approach.

If your child is hysterical and can’t sleep, offer him. This natural drink has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and is absolutely safe for the young body.

Recently, more and more infants are suffering from increased muscle tone. If your baby has been diagnosed with this, we recommend reading.

3. But what to do when a child is hysterical: he kicks the floor and screams, he has a desire for power over others, and he wants to achieve what he wants by any means?

With such whims, I (calmly, but strictly) send the child to my room. I tell him that he can go out when he stops crying (If there is no free room, you can sit him on a chair for a few minutes until he calms down). After a short period of time, he comes out as if nothing had happened, and we talk to him completely calmly.

If you live with your grandmothers, then try to explain to them the importance of this moment. You feel much more sorry for your grandchildren than for your children, and grandparents “give up the slack.” Of course, it’s worth listening to the recommendations of the older generation, but, more often than not, their care comes down to basic indulgence of children’s whims.

If the situation is terrible and begins to get out of control, and the child becomes hysterical, then just hug the baby. There is no need to forcibly hold him, your movements are calm and soft. There is no need to say anything, let the child speak out, scream and cry. Your task is to hug the baby, perhaps sit him on your lap, rocking him and stroking his back. This should calm him down.

Mommy's hugs will have a beneficial effect on the baby.

In cases where the child is easily excitable, it is advisable to consult a specialist doctor. My eldest child was hyperactive, and we visited a family psychologist. He really enjoyed this communication, where we learned to play role-playing games. The doctor recommended to us:

• exclude active evening games;
• give valerian tablets or mint tea before bed;
• observe his surroundings: exclude children with whom he conflicts.

You will learn Dr. Komarovsky’s opinion on how to deal with children’s whims at this age by watching the video:

4. To avoid aggression, you need to praise your child more often. And try to explain what you are happy with. This will reinforce positive behavior.

Your job as a mom is to pick up on the little things. Even while busy with your own affairs, try to observe and notice with your peripheral vision. So he ate the candy, and went to throw the piece of paper in the trash. Or he came from the street and carefully placed his sandals next to them to “make friends.” Be sure to pay attention to these points. Sometimes it's better to miss something that's not so good, but You should always pay attention to the good, consolidating this achievement. For example, pat him on the hair or simply take a break from your business by giving him a warm smile. Believe me, he will please you more often with his good behavior.

Encourage any positive endeavors your child makes.

5. Be alert to nightmares.

Very often, hyperactive and impressionable children relive all the events of the day at night. It is advisable to relieve the child’s nervous system before bedtime:

My tomboys really love herbal tea. In the summer, I prepare plants and herbs in advance for these purposes: leaves of wild strawberries, currants, mint, rose hips. We have a tradition: in the evening (before going to bed), having stopped fussing, we brew and drink this tea with a slice of lemon. It calms well and strengthens the immune system.

Observe what kind of music your baby likes and calms. My boys have a wonderful alarm clock with the night sky, which has several beautiful melodies. Every evening, taking turns, one of the boys chooses his own melody. This is how they fall asleep.

• read him a fairy tale, talk about it and smoothly move on to the day's events (no matter whether good or bad). Everything needs to be discussed!

6. Try to talk to your child more often.

Ask why he threw a tantrum and cried so desperately. You can often hear vague answers, such as: “I was bored,” “I just wanted to,” but don’t be too strict. And remember: he is only 3 years old. Teach your fidget to think about his actions. Talk about the wrongdoings committed and how you can behave differently, telling examples from life that are understandable (for the child to understand). These “heart-to-heart conversations” will teach your child to analyze his actions, and, importantly, will bring you very close.

Swimming relaxes and calms, strengthens and improves immunity. Babies especially love to splash in the water. There are many pools where you can go. Swimming gymnastics is a pleasant pastime for mothers and their children.

At home, with a small child, you can do gymnastics on a fitball. Read how to do this correctly.

Recommendations for desperate mommies (and daddies as well)

Books on raising children helped me a lot at the time. In my opinion, every family raising children should have these books. Here are my favorites:

I will be very glad if I could help you a little. Without knowing you and your child, I can say one thing for sure: no book, no psychologist, teacher or doctor will be able to see the changes happening to YOUR child as carefully as YOU - an attentive parent! Just love your baby and changes will not take long to arrive. Of course, they won't happen in one day. Be patient and enjoy even the smallest victories. And your child will definitely surprise you and give you a smile!

For most of us, babies are a source of affection. True, only if the little one snores quietly in his sleep or smiles funny (we recommend reading:). Frequent hysterics and tears of infants, the reasons for which are sometimes impossible to explain, cause adults to feel irritated due to their own powerlessness. However, such emotions are a bad help. It is very important to understand why a newborn is crying and take appropriate measures. Let's look at the main reasons for crying in infants, and also find out how to calm a crying baby.

When a baby cries, new parents often feel powerless

Physical discomfort

Why do newborn babies cry? Crying can be caused by various factors. One of them is an instinctive reluctance to be alone. If a child under 1 month screams and cries due to this circumstance, then it is easy to calm him down: take him in your arms, look into his eyes, say something in a calm, gentle voice.

Did not help? It is likely that the newborn is crying due to a more serious problem - physical discomfort caused by uncomfortable clothing, improper room conditions, and so on. The exact reason can be understood by the way the child cries:

Reason for crying	Features of behavior	How to calm your baby?
Wet clothes (diaper, nappy)	The child hiccups, cries, fidgets, trying not to touch what is wet.	Remove wet clothes, clean and dry the skin, put on new underwear.
Uncomfortable clothing (improper swaddling)	The baby begins to scream indignantly immediately after putting on new clothes or swaddling.	Discomfort can be caused by snaps, buttons, snakes, threads, crumbs or seams that dig into delicate skin. Items may be too tight or hard. Clothing made from synthetic fabrics with dyes causes itching. The baby should be changed quickly.
Uncomfortable position	The newborn whines, cries, waves his arms and legs, trying to change his position.	The baby needs to be placed differently.
Too hot or cold	The baby is sobbing. Signs of overheating are hot and red skin, and in advanced cases, a rash. Manifestations of hypothermia are pale and cold skin.	The newborn should be changed according to the temperature conditions in the room.

A wet diaper may be the cause of your baby's fussy movements and crying.

Feeling hungry and feeding problems

Dear reader!

This article talks about typical ways to solve your issues, but each case is unique! If you want to know how to solve your particular problem, ask your question. It's fast and free!

A common reason why newborns cry is hunger. In the first weeks, most babies hang on their chest almost all the time. Then lactation is established, and an approximate schedule is developed, but at one of the meals the baby may eat less than it should. Of course, he will start demanding milk out of schedule and screaming loudly. If the newborn quickly calms down after applying to the breast or bottle, the cause of the crying was hunger.

The baby started to eat, but started crying again? So something is bothering him. Problems that may occur during or after feeding and lead to crying:

Problem	Features of behavior	What to do?
Nasal congestion	The baby begins to suckle on the breast or bottle, but then quits and screams in irritation. Sniffles or snores.	Clean your nose with a special aspirator (bulb), rinse with drops (saline), and drip a drug prescribed by your doctor for a runny nose.
Swallowed a lot of milk	The crying is short and not repeated.	Wait a little.
Otitis	When swallowing, the pain in the ear intensifies, so the baby stops eating and screams loudly.	Place vasoconstrictor drops into the nose and special painkillers into the ears. Contact your doctor.
Stomatitis	A sign of candidal stomatitis (thrush) is a white coating on the oral mucosa. The baby feels a burning sensation and refuses to eat.	Wipe the oral cavity with a weak soda solution (2%). Visit the doctor.
Specific taste of milk (mixture)	The baby tries to eat, but then turns away from the breast or bottle.	The consumption of certain foods - onions, garlic, lamb and others - causes a change in the taste of milk. They should not be eaten in large quantities. In addition, mom should not use cosmetics with a strong aroma.
Air got into the stomach	Immediately after eating or during it, the baby pulls its legs towards its stomach and screams.	You need to take the baby in a “column”, leaning your stomach against your chest. This will allow excess air to escape.

A cooled teether helps relieve pain and itching of swollen gums

It is wrong to immediately offer the breast or bottle to a baby when he is crying. To begin with, you should pick him up and rock him. If these actions do not help to calm him down, the child cries pitifully and shows that he wants to eat - he sucks his fists, smacks his lips, then feeding should not be postponed.

If your newborn is constantly crying, you should make sure that he is not starving. There are certain standards for weight gain for children under one year of age. It is worth weighing the baby periodically and comparing its growth with the standard. You should inform your pediatrician about the lag in the rate - he will recommend how to increase the volume of feedings.

When bottle-fed, the baby often cries not from hunger, but from thirst. It is necessary that mom always has a bottle of drinking water ready.

Colic and increased gas production

Why does the child constantly cry? At the age of 1-3 months, many children suffer from colic - severe painful cramps in the abdomen caused by stretching of the intestinal walls by gas bubbles. The main sign of colic is that the baby cries piercingly and inconsolably for a long time, taking short breaks. Additional symptoms:

• facial redness;
• “knotting” with legs;
• bloating (hard belly);
• clenching fists.

Colic is associated with the immaturity of the baby's digestive system, but poor nutrition or nervous tension of the nursing mother can aggravate the situation. For most children, the problem resolves when they are 3-4 months old.

What to do if a child cries due to abdominal pain? You can calm him down in one of the following ways:

• put something warm on your tummy - an ironed diaper or a heated bag of flax seeds;
• do a massage - with a warm hand, stroke around the navel clockwise;
• put the baby on his stomach (not all children like this position);
• carry the baby vertically to allow excess air to escape;
• lay the baby on his back and give him a “frog” pose - bend his knees and put his feet together, thanks to this it is easier to pass gases; another effective exercise is to imitate riding a bicycle;
• give medicine for colic prescribed by the doctor (Espumizan, Sub Simplex, Bobotik, BabyKali, etc.), or dill water (we recommend reading:);
• place the baby with his bare stomach on his stomach, ensuring skin-to-skin contact;
• place the baby in the sling facing you.

Problems emptying your bladder or bowels

Why else does a baby have to cry? Possible causes are cystitis and constipation. Inflammation of the bladder (cystitis) is accompanied by pain when urinating and fever. The condition requires urgent medical attention.

If your baby cries during bowel movements or strains and does not poop, he is constipated. Frequent problems with bowel movements can lead to the appearance of cracks in the rectum. The problem should be reported to your pediatrician. As symptomatic therapy you can use:

• microenemas Microlax;
• glycerin suppositories;
• Lactulose syrup (has a delayed effect, causing stool the next day).

Constipation can cause painful discomfort in a child.

Some physiological causes of crying

Why does an infant sometimes cry? The sobbing of a newborn can be provoked by various painful conditions:

State	The essence	Symptoms	How to help a crying baby?
"Infant migraine"	Infants who were diagnosed at birth with perinatal encephalopathy (PEP) may suffer from headaches. This syndrome is characterized by increased pressure inside the skull, nervous excitability, and impaired muscle tone (increase or decrease).	Attacks of “infant migraine” occur when weather conditions change and atmospheric pressure changes. In addition, windy, cloudy or rainy weather can cause headaches. The baby screams, sleeps poorly, and shows anxiety. Vomiting and indigestion may occur.	In such a situation, it is impossible to do without the help of a specialist. It is necessary to visit a pediatrician or neurologist and tell about the problem.
Diaper rash (diaper rash)	Due to contact of the baby's skin with feces and urine, its acid-base balance is disrupted. The result is pain-inducing irritation.	Signs of diaper dermatitis: rash and redness in the perineum and buttocks; child's irritability; crying that gets worse when diapers are changed.	Necessary: use a healing agent (Bepanten cream); change diapers promptly; thoroughly cleanse the skin; periodically arrange “air baths”. If the irritation is very severe, a consultation with a doctor is required to prescribe treatment.
Teething	When your baby is teething, his gums become swollen, itchy and painful.	The baby sobs, pulls everything into his mouth to “gnaw.” He has increased salivation. In some cases, an increase in body temperature occurs.	Itchy gums can be “scratched” with a finger wrapped in a sterile bandage. A good way to help is a chilled teething ring. In addition, there are anesthetic gels that can be applied to the mucous membrane. For temperatures above 38.5°C, an antipyretic should be given.

If the baby cries piercingly for a long time, and it was not possible to find out the reason, you need to seek medical help

Psychological discomfort

Let's consider why a newborn baby may cry, because the reasons are not only physical, but also psychological. The most common of them are call, protest and accumulated fatigue:

1. A child cries more and more if he wants to attract the attention of an adult. The calling cry does not last long and is repeated at short intervals. The volume gradually increases. If you come to the baby, he will calm down. Dr. Komarovsky does not recommend picking up the baby right away. You can pet him or talk to him.
2. If a newborn baby begins to cry in protest, the cry is sharp and occurs immediately after an “inappropriate” action. Necessary procedures such as changing clothes, cutting nails, or cleaning ears can lead to resentment. They should be completed, and then caress the baby.
3. If your baby has become capricious and is crying a lot, he is probably tired. Hysterics can be provoked by being awake for too long, a large number of unfamiliar people around, a lot of impressions and events during the day.
4. If a newborn cries every time before going to bed, the daily routine is incorrect. Overwork prevents him from calming down.

A child's crying due to fatigue can be calmed by the following:

• end/exclude active and emotional games;
• ventilate the room and humidify the air in it;
• switch to calm communication;
• rock, sing a lullaby;
• put him to bed and give him a pacifier.

If the child is tired, you should calmly lay him down and help him fall asleep

You can prevent an infant from crying by following a certain sequence of actions (ritual) every evening. Most babies are helped to fall asleep by the following combination: bathing - feeding - putting them to bed - turning off the main lighting - turning on the night light - a lullaby.

If the reason for the crying of a newborn at the age of 1-3 months is psychological discomfort, the advice of the American doctor Harvey Karp will help to quickly lull him to sleep:

1. Swaddling. There is no need to constantly wrap your baby in diapers, but wrapping him up will help quickly calm a child who is fussy and crying before bed. It is important to close the handles. It is better to use modern elastic diapers.
2. Wiggle. If a newborn rolls up and cries, you should rock him. The baby should be picked up so that he is lying on his side and begin smooth movements with a small amplitude.
3. "White noise". Hissing sounds pronounced in a quiet voice help calm the child. It is recommended to combine their playback with rhythmic rocking.
4. Sucking. Is your baby crying inconsolably? The best way to calm him down is to give him the opportunity to satisfy his sucking reflex. A pacifier, mother's breast, or a bottle with a small amount of formula will help with this. However, the toddler should not be allowed to overeat.

Sometimes, to calm the baby, it is enough for the mother to rock him in her arms

Calming a baby over 3 months old

A child who constantly cries at 2 months can be calmed using one of the described methods. If a baby older than 3-4 months rolls up, there is no point in swaddling him or “hissing” him. During this period, a crying infant must be distracted from the problem that has upset him: